Saif Ali Khan is riding the crest now as his debut production Love Aaj Kal has been received well. But instead of resting on his laurels, the actor-turned-producer says he finds a huge change in him.
He is no longer anxious about 'rival' film Kaminey releasing soon. "My film has already worked. I don't want to sound false, but now I realise that in the past I might have made an irresponsible comment of having been offered a role in Kaminey. But the fact is, I was not. Vishal (Bhardwaj) had just mentioned the film to me. I don't want it to be a personal battle any longer. We are all not friends (him, Vishal and Shahid Kapoor, hero of Kaminey) for obvious reasons but I do think Vishal is a fantastic director. I have only heard good things about Shahid, from others and also from Kareena. He is a strong boy. I have learnt early in life that one cannot benefit from someone else's failure."
Saif candidly admits that he has gone through some of the worst phases of insecurity but those are a thing of the past. "When Kunal Kapoor or any other director I have worked with didn't repeat me, there was a sense of insecurity. In the 18 years of my career, I have gone through angst. But now it doesn't matter. Like when Siddharth (Anand) opted for Ranbir Kapoor in his next film, I no longer felt bad, probably because I was successful doing my own production. I had the confidence to wish him best," he says.
There is one more major transformation in Saif's life. "I've become more Buddhist in my approach to my career. I realise that if I am doing well now, it's only a part of the cycle. This is transitory."
And Saif nurses a secret dream: "I want to lead the life my father (Mansoor Ai Khan Pataudi) does. He has been top of his game but he knew when to walk away and how much of it to take seriously. I absolutely adore his approach towards life. Not many know that my father has been the strongest influence on me. He is a tiger and it has always been his rules that he lived by."